the best things in life aren't things
Archive for October, 2008
The Chinese say..
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
(via hjoldes)
Quote of the day
3 years ago
in Writings
Friendship is like standing on wet cement. The longer you stay, the harder it’s to leave, and you can never go without leaving your footprints behind.
Hot investment during financial turmoil
A little bit of “funny” we can all use these days:
If you had purchased $1,000 of AIG stock one year ago you would have $44.34 left.
With Wachovia, you would have had $54.74 left of the original $1,000.
With Lehman, you would have had $0.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago…drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund, you would have $214.00 cash.
By the way, bothe the US and EU financial markets will continue to fluctuate – it’s a great time to make some hard investments (gold, land, women). Or you an go for the 401- keg strategy and drink yourself silly.
Ugly?!
What kind of name is OX? No, not like the animal OX, as in HUG and KISS! How can he hug you with such short arms? OX uses his ears! He’s not a very good listener, but he puts his ears to good use in many other ways! OX is great at magic, and his best trick is turning your stuff into his stuff. His best buddy Wedgehead calls that stealing, but OX just wants to borrow things from you for a few hundred years. He promises to put everything back when he’s done. What he wants to steal most are kisses, whether they’re in the chocolate variety or just plain, and he promises to be your friend if you would lend him a hand, or an ear…or like Two Dollars!