the best things in life aren't things
Alcohol
There’s trouble brewing, guys
Mar 6th
Bavarian men might want to rethink their annual Oktoberfest revels in light of a new study.
You have to hope that this study is flawed, but the evidence seems irrefutable. Several months ago, scientists at Europe’s annual human reproduction conference suggested that the results of a recent analysis revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, and suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption. The theory is that drinking beer turns men into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were each fed six pints of beer within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessivly without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, had to sit down while urinating, couldn’t perform sexually, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.
Does beer really make us queer?
Whopper Virgins
Dec 17th
Burger King launched a controversial campaign called Whopper Virgins, in which the nice people of Maramures, Romania are involved. They are the poor “indigenous” people that have never got the chance to experience the divin touch of the great American burgers, so Burger King decided to help out these poor bastards and give them a piece of heaven. The Maramureseni loved it! 
Here’s part of the Burger King teaser concerning the campaign. You can look for other stuff for yourself, I don’t want to get into this- I am appalled.
This is a great response to the Burger King campaign, I would like to congratulate the people who made this.
P.S. Fuck you Burger King, for that dangerous combination of massive obesity and stupidity that you try spread all over the world.
Pricing and the brain
Oct 3rd
The pricier the wine, the more we enjoy it!
The wines and alcoholic beverage industry as a whole is just a huge marketing contraption, capable of churning brand after brand. It has recently been shown that the pricier the bottle and the fancier the label, the more we end up enjoying it. We have been conditioned to believe that the more we pay for a bottle of wine, it will only have to taste better; of course this is our fault from the beginning, because we are not wine experts – the price we pay for the wine is our only proxy.
Dr Rangel came to this conclusion by scanning the brains of 20 volunteers while giving them sips of wine. He used a trick called functional magnetic-resonance imaging, which can detect changes in the blood flow in parts of the brain that correspond to increased mental activity. He looked in particular at the activity of the medial orbitofrontal cortex. This is an area of the brain that previous experiments have shown is responsible for registering pleasant experiences.
Dr Rangel gave his volunteers sips of what he said were five different wines made from cabernet sauvignon grapes, priced at between $5 and $90 a bottle. He told each of them the price of the wine in question as he did so. Except, of course, that he was fibbing. He actually used only three wines. He served up two of them twice at different prices.
What is the truth?The scanner showed that the activity of the medial orbitofrontal cortices of the volunteers increased in line with the stated price of the wine. For example, when one of the wines was said to cost $10 a bottle it was rated less than half as good as when people were told it cost $90 a bottle, its true retail price. Moreover, when the team carried out a follow-up blind tasting without price information they got different results. The volunteers reported differences between the three “real” wines but not between the same wines when served twice.
via The Economist
By the way, wines are not the only things the marketing machine turned more expensive. We significantly overpay for bottled water, coffee, diamonds, weddings (etc). What else is there?
The five stages of drunkness
Oct 1st
1. Smart
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject. You know all and greatly wish to express this knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are also always right. And of course the person you are talking with is very wrong. You will talk for hours trying to convince someone that you are right. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are “smart”. Two people talking, in fact, arguing about a subject neither one really knows anything about, but are convinced that they are they complete authority on the subject makes for great entertainment for those get the opportunity to listen in.
2. Handsome/Pretty
This is when you are convinced that you are the best looking person in the entire room and everyone is looking at you. You begin to wink at perfect strangers and ask them to dance because of course they had been admiring you the whole evening. You are the center of attention, and all eyes are directed at you because you are the most beautiful thing on the face of the earth. Now keep in mind that you are still smart, so you can talk to this person who has been admiring you about any and all subjects under the sun.
3. Rich
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar and put it on your bill because you surely have an armored truck full of your money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets in this stage. Now of course you still know all, so you will always win all your bets. And you have no concern for how much money you bet because you have all the money in the world. You will also begin to buy drinks for all the people in the bar who are admiring you because you are now the smartest, prettiest, and richest person on the face of the earth.
4. Bulletproof
You can now pick fights with the people you have been betting money with because you cannot be hurt by anything. At this point you would go up to the boyfriend of the woman who had been admiring your beautiful self all evening and challenge him to a battle of wits for money. You have no worry about losing this battle of wits because you know all, have all the money to cover this bet, and you obviously win a fight that might erupt if he looses.
5. Invisible
This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do absolutely anything because no one can see you. You can get up and dance on a table; you can strip down to your underwear, to impress the people who have been admiring you all evening, because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person whom you have picked a fight with earlier in the evening. You can walk through the streets singing at the top of your lungs (because of course you are still smart and know the tune perfectly) and no one will think anything of it because they can’t see you. All your social inhibitions are gone. You can do anything, because no one will know.
And you certainly won’t remember!
New era in brand communication
Apr 6th
I believe we are witnessing a new era when it comes to brand communication, and clearly this picture below is the best example:
The communication strategy is not new, since it has already been seen before but it seems it is under constant refinement by our fellow marketing “masterminds”.
The story: Hugh Grant was caught drinking and driving by photographers
Facts: There was a beer can in Hugh’s car but it could have been the passenger on the right doing the drinking.
The communication strategy: A dubious photo agency made available this picture showing a catchy red circle zoom of the tasty alcoholic beverage inside Hugh’s car – the zoomed part is also suspicious (you can see why). News magazines and tabloids quickly jumped at the photo and published since people are starved for celebrities gossip (that’s the real reason you are reading this as well). They all wrote about a big celebrity drinking this beer in the car. Yes, Hugh Grant himself!
Consequences: Getting thirsty. You go to your local supermarket and buy Carlsberg. Heck, if Hugh Grant drinks it, why won’t you?
P.S. I hate Hugh Grant.
Nice (Naisssssss)
Mar 7th
I have no idea what that chick is talking about, but somehow I managed to have my name tattooed on her back. Nice! 
Give it a go!
Why should you say no to alcohol?
Feb 26th
Alcohol is a drug and you can become addicted to it. Alcohol changes the way your mind and your body work. Even one beer can slow your reactions and confuse your thinking. This means anything that requires concentration and coordination–like driving–is dangerous when you’ve had a drink.
Alcohol also changes the way you act. It can make you let go of the feelings that keep you from doing things you know are risky or dangerous. This can lead you to make bad decisions–like having unsafe sex or driving when you know you shouldn’t. You might think that it won’t happen to you, but everyone knows someone who has said that and then ended up hurt.
What problems can alcohol cause?
Alcohol can ruin your health. The more you drink, the more damage is done. You can get alcohol poisoning if you drink too much. As the level of alcohol in your blood rises, the chemicals in your body can cause vomiting or seizures, or you may pass out.
And now, our drinking game for today!
The rules are so easy, a drunk person could understand. All you need for this game is a sixpack, a box, and people to play it with you.
Take one can. Shake it. Now I don’t mean just shake it, I mean SHAKE the sucker! Till it’s about to blow up. Then put it in the box with the others and mix them around (one person not looking) and then switch them around again (the other person not looking) Basically, nobody knows where it is.
Now, one person picks a can, holds it to his/her head at an angle, and opens it. If it’s not the one, s/he has to drink it. If it is the one, s/he gets a wet head and you can start all over or whatever.
Have fun kids, and remember, reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.
