the best things in life aren't things
Business
Rebranding, times of crisis
Logo Credits:
* The revised Ford logo comes courtesy of Ironic Sans
* The Nokia, 3M, Badyear, Ferrari, xerox, DownJones logos come courtesy of Carlos Bornelli Jr
(via businesspundit.com)
Hot investment during financial turmoil
A little bit of “funny” we can all use these days:
If you had purchased $1,000 of AIG stock one year ago you would have $44.34 left.
With Wachovia, you would have had $54.74 left of the original $1,000.
With Lehman, you would have had $0.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago…drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund, you would have $214.00 cash.
By the way, bothe the US and EU financial markets will continue to fluctuate – it’s a great time to make some hard investments (gold, land, women). Or you an go for the 401- keg strategy and drink yourself silly.
Business talk 101
Here are some business lingo translations that I think will be most helpful for all of you out there looking for a job. No, currently we are not hiring.
Job offers lingo:
“COMPETITIVE SALARY” = We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
“JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM” = We have no time to train you.
“CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE” = We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
“MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED” = You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
“SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED” = Some time each night and some time each weekend.
“DUTIES WILL VARY” = Anyone in the hospital can boss you around.
“MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL” = We have no quality control.
“CAREER-MINDED” = Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
“APPLY IN PERSON” = If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled.
“NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE” = We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
“SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE” = You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
“PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST” = You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
“REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS” = You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
“GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS” = Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
As a little confession, I must tell you that my first job ever, implied all of the above requirements. Funny as it may seem, in this country – it’s more of a trend. Businesses are changing, but people never will. Be careful out there!
Microsoft walks away from Yahoo
Microsoft Corp. has withdrawn its $42.3 billion bid to buy Yahoo Inc., scrapping an attempt to snap up the tarnished Internet icon in hopes of toppling online search and advertising leader Google Inc.
The decision to walk away from the deal came Saturday after last-ditch efforts to negotiate a mutually acceptable sale price proved unsuccessful.
The talks reached a breaking point after Jerry Yang and David Filo, the co-founders of Sunnyvale-based Yahoo, flew to Seattle in the morning to meet personally with Microsoft Chief Executive Steve Ballmer and Kevin Johnson, who runs the software maker’s unprofitable online services division, according to someone familiar with the talks. The person was not authorized to speak publicly and asked not to be identified.
“Clearly a deal is not to be,” Ballmer wrote to Yang in a letter sent late Saturday.
Microsoft was willing to pay $47.5 billion, or $33 per share, up from the bid’s current value of $29.40 per share, according to Ballmer’s letter.
But Yahoo’s board demanded at least $53 billion, or $37 per share, according to Ballmer. That would have been nearly double Yahoo’s stock price of $19.18 at the time Microsoft first made its bid a little over three months ago – seems to me that Jerry Yang really listened to Shpigler’s tips.
Official statement.