the best things in life aren't things
Funny
Is Lady Gaga a hermaphrodite?
With everyone talking about the rumor that Lady Gaga has a discostick of her own, I thought I’d offer an insight to this story. Then again this reminds me about the Einhorn Finkle case from Ace Ventura, pet detective.
Ok, let’s get to it.
Here’s what you have to do. Get some vinegar and some baking soda. Any vinegar will do. Then build a big clay volcano. Then while it’s erupting, if Lady Gaga is too busy peeing standing up, then she’s a hermaphrodite.
Pussy bitch
A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. “Mom”, the boy asks, “What’s a pussy?”
The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says “Son, that is a pussy.” the son then asks “What’s a bitch?” The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says “Son, this is a bitch.”
The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says “Dad, what’s a pussy?” The father doesn’t want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says “Son, this is a pussy!”
The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks “Then, what is a bitch?”
The dad replies, “That’s everything outside the circle!”
Pick up lines for nerds
-You, me, here… this couldn’t be any better if I programmed the holodeck myself!
-Your mouth says, ‘Shields up!’, but your eyes say, ‘A hull breach is imminent.’
-Honey, you’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places!
-I may look like an Ewok, but I’m all Wookie where it counts, baby.
-What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this when there’s a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel.
-I’ve been told I have the cool sexual prowess of a Romulan.
-Once you make love to a man with Vulcan ears on you never go back.
-How ’bout I slip into something more comfortable… like these STAR TREK VOYAGER pajamas!
-Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on ’stunning’.
-Tell me of this thing you humans call (pause) love.
-Forgive my Kirk-like boldness, but you wanna go back to my mom’s place and watch ‘Dr. Who’?
-Nice Asimov.
-With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.
-If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes
-I less than three you. (I <3 you)
-Would you like to be the numerator or the denominator?
-What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1.
- You’re like an exothermic reaction; you spread your hotness everywhere!
-You know, it’s not the length of the vector that counts; it’s how you apply the force.
-Hi, I’m writing a new make-out program. Would you like to join the beta-test?
Drum’n'Bass is the music of God
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohmhZVjaqQo
Feel the Holy Spirit!!