the best things in life aren't things
Posts tagged story
Of men and monkeys
1 year ago
in Funny
Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result – all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been done round here.
And that, my friends, is how company policies are made.
Is Lady Gaga a hermaphrodite?
With everyone talking about the rumor that Lady Gaga has a discostick of her own, I thought I’d offer an insight to this story. Then again this reminds me about the Einhorn Finkle case from Ace Ventura, pet detective.
Ok, let’s get to it.
Here’s what you have to do. Get some vinegar and some baking soda. Any vinegar will do. Then build a big clay volcano. Then while it’s erupting, if Lady Gaga is too busy peeing standing up, then she’s a hermaphrodite.
Talking in circles – Our story
I have decided I would like to try something new this week. Ok, here’s the plan: I am going to write the beginning of a story here, and whoever is interested will copy my text and add another paragraph (or two!) in the comments section. Then the next person will copy the whole text and add his or her creative touch and so on.
The only rule: let your imagination run wild.
“So. How does it feel?”
“How does what feel?”
“You know to be… Well, to be you.”
“Ummm, It feels very Me..ey. Is that a good response? Is that what you want to hear?”
“Please sir. You agreed to an interview. You know how to cooperate. You know what we want to hear. I’m on a schedule and I would appreciate it if you don’t waste my time.”
“So you want to know how it feels to be me then?”
“Yes.”
“And I can’t just say Meey. Or like me. Or anything like that, right?”
“Correct”
“So you want to know how it feels to be the man who killed his own wife in self-defense? The man who killed his wife because she was threatening him at gunpoint and he‘d just realized after ten years that she‘d gone mad? The man who actually killed his wife and didn’t do a damn thing wrong?”
….